SUBBIES

Last night I had one of those dreams about the Mistress. She allowed me to visit Her. When She fetched me from the airport and I realized to look at Her in person I fell down on my knees crying and crawling to Her feet. She made me taking off my clothes and threw me in Her car boot. After a while we arrived at Her house and She directed me to the cellar. There was standing a big black box. I imagined it like the one in "The experiment". Probably because we talked about that German movie a while ago. I got a chastity belt and was thrown by Her in that box. She only let me out for services. For example cleaning the house, washing the car or doing any stupid things to amuse Her.

I woke up sweating but with an erection. Funny that for 99% of all people this would be a bad nightmare. But not for me. I felt so bad in this moment. But just because I realized it was a dream. This box is probably the most comfortable place on this planet in my imagination, even if She would let me out just once a month.

The Art of Tease is to give desperation, to leave hope and to create a feeling of wanting more and more. I was trained to handle this state before and I live with it for a long time now. I sacrifice on my own will and with pure lust and the more I sacrifice the more I feel aroused. The more I want to be controlled and the more I want to be weak for Miss Lana. It's an endless circle and the more often I complete a round the faster I turn. These days are not easy. The feeling of being teased changed from arousal to suffering. The new videos in HD quality do the rest and drive me even more crazy. A reasonable decision for other people would probably be to stop and go on with something different. But I can't and I also don't want this. Even to speak this out makes me feel bad.

To be teased again and again is for sure one of the greatest acts of masochism. Everybody can endure a hard spanking or a kick in the balls. But to be mind fucked again and again by the Mistress I want and need so badly is another level. I truly love Mistress and I am aware this only matters as long as I am useful to Her. I never thought to serve online could be so powerful. There is no way at all to turn back, although I know to get more means just to need more and this leads to suffer more.

The journey began with my begging and it followed an amount of money wandered from my hands to Her hands. This is only mentioned for the matter of completation, since the begging and pleading in addition to give Miss Lana money is simply natural as it should be. The next part of the journey was the waiting part. Under normal circumstances it had to be the hardest part, but an interesting incident made it look not as hard as it was. One thing happened while I had to wait is written in the next older post.

It was a sunny day and I felt very happy. Of course every day I came from work I checked my mailbox if there is any bigger package in. Finally the day arrived and I thought that this package has to be the package I waited so long for. The adress was a bit strange, because it said something about duty, but impatient as I was I opened it and was surprised. There was just a photo of Miss Lana's package in it with a letter. To make it short I couldn't believe it: It was an information that the package is at the office for duties. Another time I had hope but no luck. Further they said I have to open the package in front of an official person for duties to check the delivery and see if I have to pay a duty.

After some thinking if I should go and get it or just leave it there to prevent the ultimate embarrassement I asked Miss Lana what She thunks about. Of course this dilemma created a lot of amusement. Although I think now I already decided seconds after I realized it that I would have to get the package Miss Lana's encouragement helped me a lot to get some courage.

The next night was horrible and I wasn't able to sleep more than 4 hours. My thoughts were spinning around the panties of Mistress. They were so close now. Instead of thousands of miles it were just a few, but still protected from the power of the state. I hated my situation so much, but thought the earlier I go through the earlier I finally get my freedom. I drove to the office the next chance I got and was pretty nervous. When I arrived the office I whispered an older duty officer that I want to fetch a package but would need some privacy.

Luckily he understood and we went to a small room. When we were alone I confessed him the stroy. But I left out that I paid for it, because of the duty toll. I was surprised about myself, because it seemed the guy was more embarrassed than me. I told him that normally all this is nobodies cup of tea except me and the Lady who worn the panties. He really seemed to understand and I left the office. I had to laugh when I was outside, because the whole situation was kinda unreal. And I am sure the duty officer also had to laugh.

But I don't care. He can even tell it to the other people there. The only thing which is counting is that I was able to smell Miss Lana's scent. It was a complicated journey, but well worth it. The first thing I did when I arrived my home was to get one and finally sniffed what I was craving for. It was like a toxic drug and I became even a bit dizzy. It was well worth the effort and all I can say now is: Thank You Mistress. Thank You so much!